Dating is hard. Online dating can be even harder. The constant strain of putting yourself out there, of going out and meeting new people, can be overwhelming. And for people who are introverted and need lots of downtime between social gatherings, dating feels even harder. The thought of going on a date with someone brand new might even be frightening to an introvert. It certainly seems exhausting.
But if you’re an introvert looking for love, we’ve got some tips to not let the stress and anticipation overwhelm you. In fact, with some practice, dating could even be fun!
The first thing, though, is: are you an introvert?
This video by Psych2Go highlights the different kinds of introverts that are out there:
Even if you’re not an introvert, these are some great tips to keep in mind when dating, especially if your date is more introverted!
Tips for Introverts:
- No pressure.
Get rid of that performance anxiety for a first date! First dates are never going to be textbook — everyone feels a little uncomfortable and awkward on the first date. Embrace it, it’s part of the charm! (source)
- Dress comfortably.
Wear an outfit you like that’s comfortable. You don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to — and if you do, go for it! If you dress in a way that makes you feel good, you’ll be that much more confident for your date.(source)
3. Know the venue.
Pick a venue that’s familiar to you, or one you’re very excited to try! Know whether you’re a concert person, a cafe person, or a bar person! Being comfortable in the venue lets you focus on the most important thing — your date! (source)
4. Do something together.
You can also pick an event you and your date are both into—whether it’s a sporting event, a standup show, an open mic, etc.—which gives you a built-in topic in case you run out of things to chat about. Not to mention you’re sharing an interest together, which helps build stronger bonds!
5. Prep for your conversations.
You can always prep some topics in advance just in case you run out of things to say. If you’ve met them on an app, you’ve surely snooped through their socials. These can be a great topic starter and really showcase what they love: you could ask them about the adorable dog in their profile or the latest photo of sourdough they’ve put on Instagram. You might find something perfect to connect on! (source)
6. Use “Yes, And”
That being said, if the conversation is lulling and not going so hot, you could always employ the time-tested improv phrase of “yes, and” to keep the conversation going. Who knows where it might lead? (source)
7. Exit Plan
Make sure to have an exit plan. Let a friend or a loved one know where you’re off to and schedule a ‘check-in’ call if you’d like. If you feel safer and more prepared just in case anything might go wrong, you’ll be more focused on the date itself!
8. Be Direct and Honest, but remember it’s just a dating profile.
You can pepper in your introversion on your dating profile to give people some hints that you might not be as interested in going on dates as often as others. And that’s okay! Letting potential matches know you’re more of a game night in person as opposed to a night-on-the-towner just shows you’re comfortable and what they should expect from you. But it’s just a profile, so don’t stress it too much! (source)
9. Do what works for you!
Whether it’s a single date a month, getting off apps, digging in, or stopping altogether, in the end it’s you that decides what to do for YOU.
8. Don’t give up!
Finally, don’t give up. A few bad dates, or the hours on end scrolling through apps, can be exhausting and off-putting. But sometimes you just gotta keep pushing — you never know who is waiting for you. You’ll find someone out there! Maybe even on Vedii 😉
Any other tips you’ve found as an introvert dating? Let us know below!