You might hear people toss around the words “My love language”. “This is my love language”, etc.
But what does it mean?
The five love languages are five different ways of expressing love, both in giving and receiving. They were originally developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., and his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, after years of observations in marriage and relationship counselling. (source)
They reflect different facets of relationships as well as the unique aspects of our partners. Knowing your partner’s love language – and knowing your own – can help bolster your relationship.
1. Words of Affirmation
If your love language is words of affirmation, you thrive off of encouraging notes, frequent texts and communication, and I-love-yous. Compliments from those you love mean the world to you, and you seek out encouragement and feel the most loved when you are being supported by your significant other. You value these words at the highest position.
2. Quality time
If your love language is quality time, it means the most to you when a person you love wants to spend undivided time with you. No distractions, no phones, just the two of you hanging out and connecting on a deeper level. You might enjoy anything from having a quiet night in chatting to doing recreational activities together.
3. Acts of service
If your love language is acts of service, it means you light up inside when your partner does something to make your life easier. It could be doing a chore you’ve been putting off, caring for you when you’re sick, or cooking you a nice meal to show how much they love you. You value these actions deeply and they are more meaningful to you than words.
If your love language is gift giving, it means the world to you when someone gives you a little something. You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman calls it (source). The thought and careful decision into selecting a gift just for you makes you feel cherished, and someone getting you a gift ‘just because’ makes you melt.
5. Physical Touch
If your love language is physical touch, you feel the most loved when you receive physical signs of affection, whether it is anywhere from holding hands with a loved one to having sex. Touch and closeness is very affirming to you and shows you that your partner deeply cares about you, about every part of you.
Which love language is yours? And how do you communicate?
This great chart from mindbodygreen gives some tips on how to take action and provide for your partner in ways that will make them feel absolutely special.