It can be hard to get to know people online.

Sometimes you hit it off great, and the connection feels fabulously genuine. Other times, though, it’s a little bumpier. Maybe you go through dry stints, lackadaisical messages, or miscommunications. 

And of course, sometimes it doesn’t work out at all.

Online dating was invented to help expedite the meeting process, but nowadays it seems like a fallacy to say everyone dating online doesn’t like to waste time. With so many users casually swiping their days by on the big apps, it can be hard to tell whether or not anyone is truly serious. It makes the transition from flirty texts to flirty dates even harder, especially if you’ve been messaging with them for a while and feel like you want to meet. 

 In a worst case scenario, you might end up talking to someone thinking they’re serious only for them to show up in person and tell you the opposite. Or maybe they don’t show up at all.

Why?

Is it because its easier to say something different online? Is it a fault with the system or is it a fault with the people themselves? 

One thing we can say for sure, though, is that this happens a lot. Maybe too much. We’ve gathered some stories we’ve found from different corners of the internet so we can all wallow in it all together.

  1. Love game

“I miss the excitement of that one time I saved up money to fly down to see my long-distance boyfriend (remember flying and the little pretzels? Damn) only to have him ignore me the entire time for his League of Legends tournament. Fleeting moments of excitement would rush through my low self-esteem-filled body when he would finally break the nauseatingly awkward silence bouncing off the Plants vs. Zombies posters in his room. 

Turns out it was just him responding to the boys on Discord.

Nothing hit quite like putting my suitcase down, getting a .2 second hug with a cold-as-ice eboy reject, and spending the rest of my night alternating between the edge of his bed and the anxiety attacks in his tiny bathroom without him checking on me once. 

You just don’t get those intimate, heartwarming moments while socially distancing, you know?

What do I do now? Know my self-worth? Maybe. I haven’t swiped right on a “come over if you’re thicc, stay home if you’re sick” bio on Tinder yet. And I know to avoid light-up keyboards and double monitors like they’re the plague (too soon?) 

That’s called growth. Also I hate League of Legends.”

– Source: Paige, https://the-peak.ca/2020/09/in-person-dating-horror-stories/
  1. The lady with the Secret Family

Matched with a girl on okcupid. From her profile and our pre-date chats, I expected: 30 years old. Single. Attractive. Seemed interesting too.

What she gradually revealed over our 2 hour coffee date: 40 years old. Married. Lives with husband (but apparantly ‘separated’). 2 kids.

Why lie about these things? They are going to come out eventually! What was particularly frustrating is that I’m in my 30s and totally open to dating women in their 40s or with kids, and she was still interesting and attractive but…the dishonesty at the start is unacceptable for me so there was no second date.

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  1. Getaway Driver

After the date, he was driving me home, did a stupid, illegal move, and got pulled over. He decided to run from the police (with me in the car). He tried to pull into a driveway and hide, but they found us. Aaaanyway, they put us both in handcuffs while they searched the car. They ended up giving me a ride home, and took him to jail. Apparently it was a stolen car. I never saw him again, as he was extradited to another state for outstanding warrants. So that was exciting.

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  1. The bank robber

I met a man on OkCupid. He was 36 years old, a 92 percent match, “ESTP,” “drama-free,” looking to “find someone intelligent, down to earth, and can keep up with [his] depraved sense of humor.” He went on to say that he was at a tech startup and on the weekends he was “on a quest to find new and fun activities.” He had a gorgeous dog and he didn’t eat kale. Oh, and he was “really good at treating you like a princess.”

We instantly connected, texted incessantly, and became Snapchat friends. We had plans for Monday and it couldn’t come soon enough. But since I google my dates first, I did a quick search… and I found him:

“Wig-Wearing Bank Robber Finally Caught.”

There he was in all his glory. This uber cute guy I had a date with IN TWO DAYS had allegedly robbed a bank less than a year ago.  

I then found his wedding website declaring he was supposed to be married in October 2015, but was arrested the day before. He went to jail until February of 2016 and his return to social media showed he was happy to be back with his dog. When I asked for more details, he admitted that his fiancée left him when he came clean about robbing a bank and he was just trying to live a normal life before HIS TRIAL. When I Snapchatted his own headline to him with “WTF” on it, his first question was, “How did you find my last name?” I told him he didn’t need to worry about that. His second question was “So I guess our date it off?” Yep, genius, our date is off. — Julie Nashawaty

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Do you have any of your own tales of expectations not matching up after online dates? Let us know in the comments!

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